Category Archives: Action/Adventure

As a senior at Yeshiva University in the 60s, I solicited ads for the annual yearbook. Since I had recently purchased a Volkswagen, I asked the dealership for an ad, and they readily agreed. I sent in the ad with the check, and a few days later received a letter from the yearbook editor informing me that he had to return the check and could not include the ad. Why? Because there were many Holocaust survivors who would be upset that Yeshiva University would run an advertisement for a German company.

The incident was eye-opening. I simply was getting an ad, but in the eyes of others who had suffered at the hands of the Germans, my innocent act was perceived as ignorant and insensitive. I quickly became aware that there was a vast gap between my perception of Germany and others who had been victims of German cruelty. Someone who has suffered and endured unspeakable horrors responds differently than someone who has not.  The tourist sees tragedy one way, the resident another. For the resident, it is real, not theoretical.

Those different perceptions inform First Blood, the movie that introduced John Rambo to film audiences. His story begins after the Vietnam War as he journeys to the American Northwest in search of an Army buddy. His unscrubbed appearance makes him look like a drifter and he is arrested by the local sheriff as a vagrant, who judges only by appearances. The long-term effects of the Vietnam War are not on the sheriff’s radar screen. To him, it is ancient history. But to Rambo, it is not.  At the jail he is harassed and brutalized. The sight of a razor about to shave him while he is being restrained evokes a memory of his torture at the hands of the North Vietnamese. He responds by bolting from his captors and escaping to the mountains on a stolen motorcycle. Only later does the sheriff learn that Rambo is a former Green Beret, an elite Special Forces soldier, who was awarded the Medal of Honor.

What makes First Blood special is its portrayal of the aftermath of war, the emotional scars that remain on a person after the battles are over. In a touching scene in which Rambo shares his pain with his former commander, he agonizingly laments about the dissonance between now and then: “Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can’t even hold a job parking cars!” He cries over the loss of a close friend who was blown up by shoe-shine box that was wired with explosives: “The box blew his body all over the place. There were pieces of him all over me. I couldn’t find his legs.” These experiences remain with Rambo long after the guns have been silenced. The memories are part of his DNA for the rest of his life.

Three lessons clearly emerge from Rambo’s trial by ordeal. First, the experience of war is a game-changer in the psyche of man. It leaves wounds that are not always visible, but nonetheless inform a person’s behavior and thinking. We need to understand this when relating to people who have endured such adversity. Second, never judge a person by appearances alone, the way the sheriff judged Rambo. Jewish wisdom literature reminds us: do not look at the bottle but at what is inside of it. Third, judge every man favorably, say our Sages. When we assume the best about others, our own lives will be enriched.

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Over the years as a rabbi, I have done some marital counseling. One standard piece of advice I give to couples of all ages is never go to bed angry, never leave a problem hanging and allow it to fester overnight. The consequences can be far-reaching and potentially devastating. My wife and I do not agree on everything, and we probably never will. But we both understand that it is foolish not to resolve a divisive issue as soon as possible. We have learned that there are three very important phrases in any marriage: “I’m sorry, Forgive me, and I love you.”

Proof of Life is about a marriage under stress. On the surface, it is an action film about a kidnapping in a South American country, which introduced me to something that, thank God, I know little about; namely, how a hostage release is negotiated with a kidnapper. It is scary, but fascinating. Based on a true story that appeared in Vanity Fair magazine, it recounts the tense ordeal of Alice Bowman and her husband Peter, who is kidnapped by guerilla rebels and taken into the country’s mountains for a number of months.

What makes the kidnapping especially worrisome is the conversation that Alice and Peter had the night before. Peter’s company is in financial straits, and yet Peter wants to stay in the country. Alice, who suffered a miscarriage when they were stationed in Africa, is emotionally spent and wants to return to the States. Peter, angry at his lot in life, tells her to take a break and leave the country alone; he will stay here. It is an emotionally wrenching scene to watch as the fabric of a relationship between a loving couple, who were once devoted to one another, begins to unravel.

It is against this emotional background that the kidnapping takes place. What ups the ante is the fact that Peter’s company has no insurance coverage for kidnapping, placing his wife Alice in the unfortunate position of personally hiring a hostage negotiator to achieve her husband’s release, all the while knowing that Peter feels ambivalent about the marriage.  After a false start, she engages Terry Thorne, an expert in kidnapping and ransom cases, to help her.

The beginnings of rapprochement and reconciliation occur when Peter asks his captors if he can take a picture of his wife out of his wallet to bring with him on his trek into the wilderness. It is a photo that both comforts and inspires him throughout his ordeal. Alice, too, begins to sense that her husband still loves her when a fellow prisoner who has escaped tells her of Peter’s devotion to her, and how it enabled him to survive pain and humiliation.

Peace between husband and wife is the bedrock of a Jewish home. So precious is spousal harmony that the Bible speaks of a ritual in which God’s holy name is erased in order to promote marital harmony and save a marriage in peril. Moreover, the classic dictum of “loving your neighbor as yourself” refers specifically, says the Talmud, to the relationship between husband and wife who are not only lovers but the best of friends.

Proof of Life on one level refers to the proof that the hostage negotiator wants before transferring money to kidnappers. On another level, it refers to the deep love that asserts itself when marriages are being tested. Resolving disputes, daily expressing love in word and deed to one’s spouse, is an affirmation that, in spite of adversity, love will endure. Love itself is proof of life.

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Rafting brings to mind the rafting trip that Jim and Huck Finn take on the Mississippi. It is a metaphor for a journey from youth to adulthood, and defines the travelers as they experience adventures along the way. Another memory is a rafting trip I took many years ago with Jan Siegelman, an Atlanta friend and veteran whitewater guide, and my two oldest boys, Dani and Elie, on the Ocoee River in Tennessee.

We encountered serious rapids. My boys handled it well but I fell off the raft three times, once stuck underwater for a short while until Jan freed me from being trapped between the raft and a rock. For me, river rafting was no longer just an exciting wilderness adventure. It represented risk-taking and danger. The River Wild, a thriller about a family rafting trip, viscerally depicts the inherent danger in navigating the rapids, and also describes how a moment of crisis can serve as a defining moment in the life of a family.

Gail and Tom have a troubled marriage. Tom, obsessed with work, is emotionally distant from his wife and young son, Roarke. Gail, whose father is deaf and uses sign language to communicate, looks to her mother for guidance. When Gail tells her that things are hard, her mother responds: “You don’t know what hard is. That’s because you give yourself an out.” Her mother wisely counsels her that marriage is by nature a challenging relationship, requiring consistent effort to endure.

Gail percolates with this wisdom as she begins her rafting trip with her son and husband who, surprisingly, joins them at the last minute. The trip takes a sinister turn when they are joined by Wade and Terry, armed fugitives who pretend to be carefree vacationers on a rafting excursion. Gail and Tom try to find an exit strategy, but it doesn’t work. They are trapped by men who threaten harm to their family if she does not cooperate. Their goal is to compel Gail, an experienced whitewater guide, to take them to safety downriver, where they can escape the law. The problem, however, is that they will have to go through the gauntlet, a section of the river where a rafter has recently died and another was paralyzed. It is a formidable and dangerous task.

The River Wild says a lot about the ties that bind a family. It demonstrates that spouses need to spend time with each other and talk to one another. When there is no dialogue, relationships are hard to maintain. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus is not just a clever maxim. It is a reminder to married couples to spend time trying to understand each other, to appreciate the everyday interactions and kindnesses that form the bedrock of a strong marriage. Moreover, the story reminds parents to be present for their children, to engage them, and celebrate their special moments with them.

Beyond these lessons about family, the film reminds us of the Torah requirement to preserve life and to avoid danger. The Talmud, in fact, states that the rules protecting us from danger are more important than ritual prohibitions. Without life, there is no opportunity to do God’s will. There are even laws that prohibit walking near a crumbling wall or an unstable bridge.

In The River Wild, crisis brings the family together, and forever after defines them as a loving unit, committed to one another for the long haul. Roarke sums it up when he responds to the policeman who asks him what happened. Roarke, smiling broadly, says: “My mom got us down the river and my dad saved our lives.”

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As a rabbi, as an educator, and as a parent, I have been asked many times for advice when friends and loved ones are going through stressful times. Sometimes I can help them, and sometimes their situation is so complex that I do not have a suggestion or answer that works for them. I want to help, but there are situations where my counsel is inadequate. I see the oncoming train wreck and I am powerless to change things or to prevent the damage from occurring.

Watching The Hurt Locker gave me a visceral understanding of this feeling. It is a stomach-churning war movie filled with profanity, extreme tension, and violence that deals with soldiers trained to disarm improvised explosive devices such as roadside bombs. The film vividly details the enormous risk they take on a daily basis to do their job. In one particular scene, Sergeant William James is called to a public square where a man is strapped in an explosive vest. The vest was placed on him against his will, and the man desperately wants someone to save him by removing the vest. The problem is that the vest is attached to his body with numerous locks. The crisis is compounded by a timing device on the man, which indicates that the bomb will explode in a matter of minutes. What to do? Sergeant James does his best but he cannot remove the locks in time. We are left to watch the bomb detonate and the man disappear into dust.

The film drives home in a graphic way the dilemma we all face at one time or another. We do our best and yet it still is not enough to make things right. Judaism recognizes this human dilemma, and the Sages give us guidance. The Ethics of the Fathers tell us that we should not run away from a difficult task; rather, we should begin it, do our best, and pray for the help of Heaven. We are only responsible for input. God is in charge of the outcome.

There is another life lesson embedded in The Hurt Locker. James is part of a three-man team. When he places himself in danger, his cohorts Sanborn and Eldridge automatically are placed at risk as well. James decides on one mission to take off his radio communication device to enable him to diffuse a bomb while unencumbered. The inability of his team to communicate with him in a hostile setting creates extreme uncertainty, and their straightforward mission is in danger of aborting. James also decides to hunt down terrorists on his own and invites his team to join him on this non-authorized mission, again needlessly placing his men at risk.

This failure to consider the fate of others when one makes decisions that affect other people is irresponsible and selfish. Indeed, James’ pursuit of his own adrenaline rush creates havoc for his partners. This self-centeredness is contrary to the Judaic maxim that we are all responsible for another. As the famous poet Donne said: “No man is an island.” We are all connected and the death of one man diminishes every man. Therefore, we are bound to consider the welfare of all when we make decisions, not just what’s in it for us.

The implications for how we conduct our own lives are clear. When faced with a daunting task, don’t take a pass. Just do your best and leave the rest to God. Furthermore, when making important decisions in life, think about your loved ones and how they will be affected by your decisions. Our decisions create ripple effects in the lives of others.

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