Category Archives: Family friendly

The Art of Racing in the Rain (2019), directed by Simon Curtis

A friend of mine has two dogs. What is unusual is that as a child, he was petrified of dogs. Yet now he is an adult and dogs are an integral part of his life. I am not sure why his attitude towards dogs changed, but it is clear every time I visit him that the dogs provide unconditional love for him, his wife, and his kids. Indeed, the dogs are a genuine part of his family.

The Art of Racing in the Rain is a dog story, but we know that every dog story is really a story about people. The title of the film is a term used by Denny, an auto racing teacher and a race driver, to describe the particular skill of controlling the car when the surface of the road is wet and unpredictable. The term is a metaphor for being able to manage the unpredictability of life. Denny says it best: “The best drivers only focus on the present.” They do not let the burdens of the past or the uncertainties of the future prevent them from moving forward.

The film opens as Enzo, an old Golden Retriever, is near death and is waiting for his owner, Denny, to come home. Denny arrives and carries Enzo out of the house. As he does so, the film’s narration begins as Enzo begins to tell the story of his life.

Denny buys Enzo as a pup and the two bond strongly. A year later, Denny marries Eve, and Enzo’s life is disrupted for a short time until he gets used to sharing Denny with his beloved Eve. Eve’s parents, Maxwell and Trish, express misgivings about Denny’s career choice, and worry when Denny and Eve start a family.

Their daughter, Zoe, gives great joy to Denny and Eve and to her parents as well. Denny, Eve, and Zoe lead idyllic lives until Eve develops brain cancer. Her love for Denny and Zoe enables her to survive for a short time, but then she succumbs to her illness.

Denny is at a crossroads. He has left his racing career to care for his cherished wife and now he has to care for his daughter. Eve’s parents go to court to gain custody of Zoe, feeling that Denny is often absent from home and unfit to take care of her. The custody battle turns ugly when Denny inadvertently knocks down Maxwell, his father-in-law, causing him to break a rib.

Throughout all of this family turmoil, Enzo stays with Denny, serving as his quiet and loyal friend. Although Enzo cannot talk, his presence is comforting to Denny, and Enzo looks forward to time after death when he thinks that he will be reincarnated as a human being.

Enzo’s thought processes are given expression in his very human observations of his owner and the world around Denny. Judaism generally considers dogs as not having a soul like that of a human being; but, according to some Kabbalistic sources, dogs do go to “heaven,” and live some kind of afterlife.

Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin, a noted Jewish educator, writes: “while they are different from humans, animals too have souls that live on and can be elevated. This idea presents us with an enormous responsibility in our interactions with the animal kingdom. After all, the animal’s elevation in the afterlife can be dependent upon our positive interactions with it.”

Enzo probably would have a great life in the hereafter because of his interactions with his loyal and kind owner Denny. Their easy rapport with one another underpins a deep relationship between human and dog, a relationship in which Enzo gives emotional support to his owner who has endured the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”

It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word for dog is kelev, which is a contraction of the words kol lev, meaning “a full heart.” The good dog is the one who is loyal, serving us with a full heart, reducing our stress and supporting us through tough times.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019), directed by Marielle Heller

It is not easy to find a film that is “kosher” in the ultimate sense, but I think It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood qualifies. I define a “kosher movie” as one that has something meaningful to say about life, that can help us navigate our own lives; and this story of the friendship of celebrated children’s show host, Fred Rogers, with investigative journalist Lloyd Vogel has much Torah wisdom to offer.

The narrative begins as Mr. Rogers shows a photo of Lloyd Vogel with a bloody nose. He tells the audience that Lloyd has lots of anger and has much to learn about forgiveness. Lloyd’s backstory reveals that he and his wife Andrea have just had a baby and they plan to attend the wedding of Lloyd’s sister Lorraine.

Lloyd’s mood sours when he learns that his estranged father, Jerry, will be attending the wedding. At this special family celebration, Lloyd gets into an altercation with his father; and in the melee following the argument, someone punches Lloyd on his nose. This is the picture Mr. Rogers shows us at the beginning.

Lloyd’s editor, Ellen, asks him to write a profile of Mr. Rogers as part of a series on contemporary heroes. Lloyd regards it as a puff piece and is reluctant to do it, but he acquiesces. For the interview with Mr. Rogers, he travels to Pittsburgh to meet him on the set of his TV program.

Lloyd is taken aback by the kind demeanor of Mr. Rogers, who treats him with great respect. Inwardly, he wonders whether his kindness is just a show or is it genuine. As Lloyd interviews him, Mr. Rogers interrupts with questions of his own for Lloyd, in which he probes reasons for Lloyd’s black eye. Lloyd eventually tells him about his fight with his dad.

Soon after, Mr. Rogers invites Lloyd to spend a day with him when he will be in New York. Lloyd meets Fred’s wife, Joanne, who reinforces the notion that her husband is the real deal when it comes to being a person with great empathy and compassion for others. When Fred asks him questions about his childhood with his father and mother, Lloyd becomes uncomfortable, defensive, and abruptly leaves.

His dysfunctional relationship with his father, who abandoned his mother when she was ill, is too great a character failing for him to overlook. Lloyd’s anger towards his father does not abate and he allows it to live rent free in his head.

When his father suddenly has a heart attack, Lloyd is compelled to revaluate his relationship with his father. Mr. Rogers’ friendship during this period of emotional turmoil becomes a force for reconciliation.

Here are two pieces of wisdom that Mr. Rogers gives to Lloyd not by giving him direct advice, but by engaging Lloyd in conversation. When he and Lloyd are speaking on the phone, Fred asks him what is the most important thing in the world that I could be doing now? Lloyd has no answer but Fred does: “The most important thing I could be doing is talking to you.” The message for Lloyd: be present in the present. Do not allow yourself to be distracted when you are engaged with another human being. From a Torah perspective, this means to recognize the image of God in every man. If every man has divinity within him, then I must pay attention to the significant other that is speaking to me.

Another instance: When Jerry is dying, Mr. Rogers makes a private request of him. Lloyd wants to know the request. Fred tells him that he asked Jerry to pray for him. Why, asks Lloyd. Fred’s answer: “when a person is close to death, he is close to God.” This is a very Jewish response. The Sages in Ethics of the Fathers encourage us to think of death each day not in a morbid way, but to stimulate us to lead more meaningful lives. Experiencing crisis is often the catalyst to more focused use of our remaining time on earth and the rabbis want us to make every day a spiritual masterpiece.

These are only a small portion of the life lessons embedded in the thoughtful narrative of It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. It is a “kosher movie” to savor and worth viewing more than once.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

Akeelah and the Bee (2006), directed by Doug Atchison

In 1970, I had to make a choice. Do I want to launch my career as a rabbi on my own serving as a pulpit rabbi or do I want to be an assistant rabbi and learn from a skilled and wise mentor? I chose the latter, and, in retrospect, it was a good decision.

In making the decision, I recognized my limitations and thought I would be a better rabbi in the long run if I had someone from whom I could learn. In Akeelah and the Bee, eleven-year-old Akeelah Anderson makes a decision to acquire a mentor as she prepares for the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, and that makes all the difference in her performance on game day.

African-American Akeelah Anderson resides in South Los Angeles, a tough neighborhood with poor schools. She is bored with being in an unchallenging academic environment. However, in spite of her surroundings, she has developed a talent for spelling. Principal Welch notices this and encourages Akeelah to enter the school’s spelling bee, which is the first step towards qualifying for the National Spelling Bee competition.

Akeelah, feeling that participation in the academic competition will brand her as a nerd, is reluctant to participate. In the face of consistent encouragement by the administration of the school, however, she relents and competes in the school’s contest and easily wins. This is the first step on the road to the national competition.

Along the way, she becomes friends with Javier Mendez, a spelling bee competitor from another school district consisting mostly of white middle class and wealthy families. Unlike her preconceptions of such students from affluent homes, Javier is friendly, supportive, and always has a smile on his face. In her conversations with him, she begins to see the world differently, becomes willing to step outside of her comfort zone, and starts to enjoy the challenge of competing in the national contest.

At first, Akeelah thinks she can win purely on the strength of her ability to master rote spelling skills. But as she competes in local contests, she realizes she will need a coach who will teach her about word roots and how to figure out how to spell complex words with obscure language origins. Serendipitously, Dr. Joshua Larabee, former chair of the UCLA English Department, becomes her mentor and coach. He is a harsh taskmaster, but ultimately Akeelah recognizes the value of his advice and follows his recommendations.

What Akeelah does conceptually is follow the advice of The Ethics of the Fathers, a classic of Jewish wisdom literature, which states “make for yourself a teacher (1:6).” The Sages interpret this to mean to get yourself a mentor, someone who will give you good advice as you navigate life.

Yaakov Astor, writer and Jewish educator, explains this aphorism. To get the most benefit from a mentor, you first have to acknowledge your own limitations and lack of perspective on certain issues. Once that is done, then you can seek out someone with wisdom and life experience to assist you. The mentor does not have to know everything, but he possesses more knowledge than you and can offer you perspective on your problems. He is objective where you are subjective.

Akeelah and the Bee demonstrates the positive effect that a mentor can have on your life. First, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses. Second, you can learn much and overcome challenges in life if you open to the perspective of an older and wiser person whom you respect and trust. It is then more likely that you will achieve success in life.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

Captains Courageous (1996), directed by Michael Anderson

Herman, a student at the high school where I was the principal, was difficult to like. He viewed all school rules as unnecessary and constantly challenged my administrative decisions. He did not like the school’s dress code and he was unhappy when I required the basketball team to wear a kippah (head covering) when seated on the bench. Moreover, he arrived late to the school’s daily prayer services and exerted minimal effort in all his classes.

So it was with great surprise that I saw him many years later, wearing a kippah, fully observant, and interacting with me and others who knew him in high school with respect and sensitivity. What happened? In truth, I did not know. What I did know is that he matured in ways I could not have anticipated and the change in him was remarkable and greatly welcomed.

In Captains Courageous, Harvey Cheyne, Jr., an orphaned and extremely wealthy boy, undergoes a metamorphosis; but in his case we understand why it happened. Traveling on an ocean liner from America to England, he accidentally falls off the boat. He almost drowns but is saved by fishermen off the Great Banks of Newfoundland.

The fishing boat will be at sea for three months and cannot change course at the whim of a young boy. Harvey is not used to hard labor nor is he used to not having his way. He is angry when the captain of the boat tells him he cannot return to the port from which he departed. Moreover, the captain tells him that if he does not work like others on the boat, he will not eat.

After initially maintaining his attitude of privilege, Harvey, with the aid of the captain’s son, Dan, gradually learns to be a skillful fisherman and sailor. For the first time in his life, Harvey senses he has a true friend. Experiencing challenges together at sea, their friendship blossoms and both boys see one another as comrades for life. When Harvey finally returns to port, he is a changed person.

The main agent responsible for this change is his new-found friend Dan, who sees the potential for goodness within Harvey. With good will and patience, he watches as Harvey matures into a bright young man who is no longer concerned only with himself, but with significant others as well.

Everybody needs a friend. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks describes Moses’s need for friendship and support. Sacks observes that when Moses is feeling overwhelmed by what he has to do, God does not tell him to cheer up. Instead He tells him to do something: “Gather for Me seventy of the elders of Israel. I will take some of the spirit that is on you and put it on them; and they shall bear the burden of the people along with you so that you will not bear it all by yourself.” In essence, God is advising Moses not to go it alone. Do not be isolated. Make friends.

Sacks writes: “at the moment of Moses’ maximum emotional vulnerability, God Himself speaks to Moses as a friend. This is fundamental to Judaism as a whole. For us God is not (merely) Creator of the universe, Lord of history, Sovereign, Lawgiver and Redeemer, the God of capital-letter nouns. He is also close, tender, loving: He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds (Ps. 147:3). He is a friend and friends matter. They shape our lives.”

The Sages who authored The Ethics of the Fathers, a classic of Jewish wisdom literature, advise us to “acquire for yourself a friend.” It is not good for people to be alone. We all need companionship; we all need people who help us endure the vicissitudes of life.

Harvey Cheyne in Captains Courageous learns that through friendship his own life becomes more meaningful. Learning to think and care about others makes you a better human being.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLMsd1IsNJ0

FULL MOVIE AVAILABLE ONLINE ON YOUTUBE AND NETFLIX.

 

F.R.E.D.I. (2018), directed by Sean Olson

My grandchildren recently asked me for a recommendation for a movie to watch. It took me some time to suggest a title or two since so much of what is out there is potentially corrupting.

When parents ask me for a suggestion, I invariably tell them to look at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) website and consult the Parent Advisory section to determine if the film you are considering viewing for yourself or for your children is one which you are comfortable with from a personal and parenting perspective.

F.R.E.D.I. is one of those rare films that is kosher in the conventional sense: no foul language, no violence, no sex or nudity. Since my “Kosher Movies” website is designed for adults, my definition of a “kosher movie” is very broad. A “kosher movie” is one that has something meaningful to say about life, a film that may even help us navigate our own lives. It does not indicate whether a film is appropriate for children, so it was with pleasure that I watched F.R.E.D.I. and discovered a movie that I could endorse for teens.

The story begins in a top-secret laboratory in Bentonville, Arkansas. Dr. Andi Palmer is a scientist who created a robot, named F.R.E.D.I., in order to help people and improve their quality of life. Once she realizes that her boss, Grant, will use the robot to advance his own pecuniary concerns rather than improve life for the world, she decides to make sure that her boss has no access to her creation. Fleeing into the forest from Grant’s cohorts, she hides F.R.E.D.I. but does not have enough time to retrieve it after the chase.

A 15-year-old teenager, James Nash, discovers the robot named F.R.E.D.I. in a forest near his home. They soon learn to communicate with one another and a friendship blossoms. James decides to bring the robot home and F.R.E.D.I. gives James much attention. James needs attention because his father, a single parent, is constantly distracted by his business concerns and does not spend much time with his son. James begins to understand how important F.R.E.D.I. is when he observes the robot responding in a friendly and helpful way to human stimuli. Then he feels responsible to protect the robot from the corporate profiteers who want to exploit its powers.

Watching F.R.E.D.I. brings to mind a host of films that in my mind are “kosher“ for teens and that have something valuable to say to adults about navigating life. Here are some of my favorites with an indication of their kosher themes:

Searching for Bobby Fischer – why it is important to lead a balanced life;

Wonder – how we should treat those who are disfigured or disabled;

Toy Story 3– how anger destroys our ability to perceive truth;

It’s a Wonderful Life– why we should be grateful for what we have;

Raiders of the Lost Ark – why it is important to adjust to new realities even when things do not go our way;

E.T. – how we should respond to the stranger in our midst;

Hugo – how we should regard the contributions of the elderly who enrich our lives;

Karate Kid (1984) – how the power of concentration can turn the present moment into an eternal one;

Remember the Titans – how freeing ourselves from prejudice can enrich our lives;

Back to the Future – the value of time and how one moment can change our destinies;

October Sky – considers the question of who is more influential in the life of a child, parents or teachers;

A Little Princess –the importance of having a positive attitude and smiling in the face of adversity;

Hachi: A Dog’s Tale – a reminder for us to treasure acts of kindness.

Watch this movie on Netflix.

A Dog’s Purpose (2017), directed by Lasse Hallstrom

dog's purposeWhen I was around ten years old, my father took me to the office of a veterinarian and we came home with a dog. It had the face of Lassie, but it was mixed breed without a distinguished lineage.

Where the dog came from was irrelevant to me. I did not have lots of friends and the dog, named Shep, was the friend I had always wanted. He was always there to greet me at the end of the school day, overlooking all of my faults and giving me unconditional love no matter what stupid things I might have done during the day.

Regrettably, over a year or two, I did not take care of the dog as I should have and my mother gave the dog away. It was a sad day for me and I cried inconsolably.

A Dog’s Purpose is both a clever and touching film about the strong connections between dogs and their owners. It is told from the dog’s point of view over several generations as the dog is reincarnated into the pets of several owners and tries to discover his purpose in life.

His first owner is Ethan Montgomery, who, along with his mother, rescues him from a heated car where he is in danger of dehydration. Ethan names him Bailey, and over the course of several years affection grows between Ethan and Bailey. In high school, Ethan is his school’s starting quarterback and has a devoted girlfriend, Hannah, who will attend Michigan State on an academic scholarship while Ethan attends the same school on a football scholarship.

Tragedy strikes when Todd Logan, a student jealous of Ethan’s success, places a large firecracker in Ethan’s home starting a fire that almost kills him and his mother. Fortunately, Bailey comes to the rescue by alerting Ethan to the raging flames giving them time to escape.

In the second vignette, Bailey is reincarnated as Ellie, a female German shepherd working as a police dog in Chicago. His owner, Carlos, uses Ellie to track a girl who has been kidnapped. Using her super-sensitive ability to detect smells, Ellie successfully finds the girl and rescues her from near death as she almost drowns in the waters of a turbulent dam.

In the final section of the film, the dog wakes up as Buddy, a mixed breed St. Bernard puppy, who finds his way, after several reincarnations, to his former owner Ethan, now a middle-aged adult. Sensing Ethan’s existential loneliness, he miraculously orchestrates a reuniting of Ethan with his former love, Hannah.

Bailey sums up what he has learned over this reincarnation journey about a dog’s purpose in life: “So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now. That’s a dog’s purpose.” Although spoken by a dog, it also is a significant life lesson for humans. As humans, our purpose is to enjoy the world God gives us and be of help to others. Be positive about life. Love our fellowman as ourselves and be present in the lives of others.

Many Orthodox Jews own dogs, “man’s best friend.” But the Talmud reminds us that before acquiring an animal, you must be certain that you can properly care for it. King Solomon states: “a righteous person considers the life of his animal.”

Jewish tradition tells us we have to imitate our Creator, and so we must take care of the needs of our animals and alleviate their suffering. Provocatively, the Sages observe that dogs are sensitive to metaphysical matters that humans cannot understand.

A Dog’s Purpose, a heartwarming story of the love between humans and dogs, makes some important observations about how humans should relate to one another. The life of a dog functions as a metaphor for human interactions and there is much from which we can learn.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

Wonder (2017), directed by Stephen Chbosky

mv5byjfhowy0otgtndkzmc00ywjkltk1ngetywuxnjhmmmq5zjyyxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymjmxote0oda-_v1_ux182_cr00182268_al_When I was principal of an elementary school, I saw bullying for the first time. We had a black Jewish student, a very sensitive and gentle boy, enrolled at the school. He had trouble making friends, sensing he was different from the rest of the students.

On one fateful day, a number of his classmates lured him into the boy’s bathroom and beat him up. The boy’s parents were rightfully very incensed that such behavior could occur in a Jewish day school, but it did and I had to deal with it administratively. The entire event reminded me of the need to express to all students that everyone is created in the image of God and possesses infinite potential, no matter what their appearance.

Such is the dilemma facing facially disfigured Augie Pullman as he tries to adjust to a regular school in the fifth grade after being home schooled by his mother Isabel until then. Augie’s condition is a result of a genetic flaw and, after many surgeries, he is healthy but his face is deformed.

During his first several days at the new school, he is shunned by the other students who are put off by his strange looks. In time, some students do befriend him. However, Augie travels a rocky social road, and some of his supposed friends turn on him when it suits their own social needs for acceptance. Happily, there is reconciliation, and the sincere friendship of classmates combined with the consistent support and love of his parents enables Augie to cope with temporary adversities and enjoy normal school life.

Wonder is filled with wise sayings articulated by Augie, his parents, his teachers, and his school principal, Mr. Tushman. Many of these echo Torah perspectives on life. Here are some of them: “Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”Top of Form “I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives.” “It’s not enough to be friendly. You have to be a friend.” “I wish every day could be Halloween. We could all wear masks all the time. Then we could walk around and get to know each other before we got to see what we looked like under the masks.” “It’s what you’ve done with your time, how you’ve chosen to spend your days, and whom you’ve touched this year. That, to me, is the greatest measure of success.”  “If you don’t like where you are, picture where you want to be.” “Who do I aspire to be?  That’s the question we should be asking ourselves all the time.” “When given the choice between being right or kind, choose kind.” “We all have marks on our face.  This is the map that shows where we’ve been and it’s never, ever ugly.” “Your deeds are your monuments.” “Greatness is not being strong but using strength to carry the most hearts.”

Perhaps the most powerful statement is the one that speaks of the absolute need to see people in their complexity and not simply to form judgments about people based only on how they look. Mr. Tushman tells his students at an assembly: “Auggie can’t change the way he looks.  Maybe we can change the way we see.”

Wonder is a one-of-a-kind movie, loaded with important statements about how we should lead our lives and how we should interact with the people we meet. It is both entertaining and enlightening. For me, it represents an ideal “kosher movie” for our times.

 

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

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