Category Archives: Family friendly

As I have gotten older, I am much more conscious of safety. Whenever I walk down stairs, I instinctively look for the banister. I know that if I am careless and fall, it could actually change my life and make it more difficult. The same fall at 20 years old may be inconsequential; but when I am in my 70s, recovery from a fall is not simple. Penguin Bloom does not tell a story of a senior citizen suffering an injury, but of a young mother, Sam Bloom, who has an accident that changes the arc of her life.

The film opens as the Bloom family is taking a vacation in Thailand. Husband Cameron, his wife Sam, and their boys, Noah, Reuben, and Oli are enjoying the trip, hiking and touring the land. On one fateful day, Sam accidentally falls off a high balcony and breaks her T6 thoracic vertebrae. The result: she is partially paralyzed.

Returning to their home in Australia, Sam, who is an avid surfer, has to adjust to life in a wheelchair. Her entire family supports her, but Sam’s redefinition of herself as a disabled person does not come easily. She is constantly frustrated as she attempts to do normal household chores.

Things begin to change when the three boys bring home an injured magpie chick that is unable to fly. They name the bird Penguin. Initially, Sam has no interest in the magpie, but she takes an interest once she realizes that bonding with the bird will help her connect with her son, Noah, who has grown distant from his mother since the accident. In truth, Noah feels overwhelming guilt because he was the one who encouraged his mother to go up on the balcony in Thailand.

As the magpie’s condition improves, so does Sam’s, especially after she starts kayaking lessons that give her a sense of mobility and self-esteem. Ultimately, there is a family reconciliation after Sam and Noah have a heart to heart conversation about who was responsible for the accident.

Feige Twerski, a Jewish educator, offers a unique perspective on dealing with an accident that changes your life. She was struck by a car and was involved in long-term rehabilitation after leg surgery. Normal life came to a halt, but she viewed her bad fortune as divinely orchestrated. She observes: “Slowing down was mandated by a wake-up call, a message sent by Divine providence. This unanticipated respite in the stream of my life provided necessary reflection and contemplation.” The life-altering accident led Twerski to think about lessons learned from adversity.

Here are some of her thoughts and insights: “Like it or not, my body for the most part was dictating the terms of my existence, and I had no choice but to comply. This was a rude awakening, but I took them as my marching orders from above. I had to let go of all other agendas and dedicate my work for this period of time to recovery. So the spiritual and physical merged and became one, a seamless, fused whole. God appointed us as custodians over a physical body that was intended to serve as an eager partner to our exalted souls.”

She continues: “After such an event, clichés become real. The vulnerability of the human being is of no surprise to anyone. However, when one experiences how dramatically life can change in a split second, the cliché describing the fragility of life takes on new meaning. Accidents and serious injuries become life-altering events. The myth of human control is shattered.”

Twerski felt comforted when she let go mentally and handed her ultimate recovery to God. She knew that, from the aspect of eternity, there was a divinely ordained plan that put her on the road less traveled. She now had a visceral sense of the unpredictability of life that made her appreciate the spectacular now more. In her essay, she quotes Einstein who said, “There are two ways to live your life, one is as if there are no miracles and the other is to live as if everything is a miracle.” Penguin Bloom reminds us that each day can be a miracle.

During the Corona quarantine, we are living in Boca Raton with my daughter Chanie and her family. We reside in Beit Shemesh in Israel, but traveled here to spend Purim with her; we now have been her guests for over to three months.

Chanie homeschools her kids, and my wife and I have been the “scholars-in-residence” for the homeschool of our grandchildren. Last week I discussed the verse of Paul Laurence Dunbar, one of the first great African-American poets, with my granddaughter Sari. We focused on the poem “Sympathy,” the refrain of which is “I know why the caged bird sings.” That phrase is also the title of Maya Angelou’s famous autobiography, which describes the formative years of that American writer and poet who was known for her strong character and love of literature, both of which helped her to overcome racism.

Sari and I then discussed how being black can be an obstacle to being accepted into mainstream society and how it often prevented people from pursuing certain professions. Being a stranger, or outsider, created all sorts of obstacles. Based on a true story, The African Doctor depicts one real-life example of how prejudice towards strangers dramatically affected the arc of one person’s entire life.

Seyolo Zantoko, an African who has just graduated from a French medical school, turns down a job to be the personal physician of President Joseph-Desire Mobutu of Zaire because the country is known for its corruption. Instead, he applies for the position of a doctor in a small country town in France, far from the bustling business and fashion environment of Paris. The mayor hires him for his village of Marly-Gomont, but warns him that adjusting to his rural community will not be easy.

Once the family moves into the village, Seyolo’s wife Anne and his two children, Sivi and Kamini, are disappointed, having expected to dwell in a cosmopolitan environment. They did not comprehend that Seyolo’s ultimate goal in accepting this post was to give his children a superior education in France and to obtain French citizenship.

As their period of adjustment progresses, challenges emerge. The provincial town dwellers are suspect of newcomers, especially if they are black. HIs children are bullied at school, and almost no one comes to see him for medical services. Eventually, however, mutual understanding prevails, and there is rapprochement between Seyolo’s family and the townspeople.

Judaism has much to say about how to treat the stranger because Jews endured slavery in Egypt when they were strangers in the land (Exodus 23:9). Indeed, the more vulnerable the stranger, the greater is our obligation to help him. The stranger is bereft of family, friends, and the familiar, and he needs our support.

Jewish history is filled with stories of loners, strangers, who had to overcome prejudice to be accepted. Abraham was told that his descendants would be strangers in a strange land. Moses spent a good portion of his adult life as a stranger, an outsider, in Midian. The Jews spent years as outsiders in Europe; and every year at Passover, Jews recount the story of their marginal status in Egypt as a people without a homeland. It is the collective memory of being a stranger that eternally binds the Jewish people together.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks poetically writes: “You know the heart of the stranger because you were once a stranger in the land of Egypt. If you are human, so is he. If he is less than human, so are you. God tells us I made you into the world’s archetypal strangers so that you would fight for the rights of strangers – for your own and those of others, wherever they are, whoever they are, whatever the color of their skin or the nature of their culture, because though they are not in your image, says God, they are nonetheless in Mine. There is only one reply strong enough to answer the question: Why should I not hate the stranger? Because the stranger is me.”

The African Doctor reminds us of the evils of prejudice and functions as a clarion call to help the strangers among us.

It is not easy to find a film that is “kosher” in the ultimate sense, but I think It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood qualifies. I define a “kosher movie” as one that has something meaningful to say about life, that can help us navigate our own lives; and this story of the friendship of celebrated children’s show host, Fred Rogers, with investigative journalist Lloyd Vogel has much Torah wisdom to offer.

The narrative begins as Mr. Rogers shows a photo of Lloyd Vogel with a bloody nose. He tells the audience that Lloyd has lots of anger and has much to learn about forgiveness. Lloyd’s backstory reveals that he and his wife Andrea have just had a baby and they plan to attend the wedding of Lloyd’s sister Lorraine.

Lloyd’s mood sours when he learns that his estranged father, Jerry, will be attending the wedding. At this special family celebration, Lloyd gets into an altercation with his father; and in the melee following the argument, someone punches Lloyd on his nose. This is the picture Mr. Rogers shows us at the beginning.

Lloyd’s editor, Ellen, asks him to write a profile of Mr. Rogers as part of a series on contemporary heroes. Lloyd regards it as a puff piece and is reluctant to do it, but he acquiesces. For the interview with Mr. Rogers, he travels to Pittsburgh to meet him on the set of his TV program.

Lloyd is taken aback by the kind demeanor of Mr. Rogers, who treats him with great respect. Inwardly, he wonders whether his kindness is just a show or is it genuine. As Lloyd interviews him, Mr. Rogers interrupts with questions of his own for Lloyd, in which he probes reasons for Lloyd’s black eye. Lloyd eventually tells him about his fight with his dad.

Soon after, Mr. Rogers invites Lloyd to spend a day with him when he will be in New York. Lloyd meets Fred’s wife, Joanne, who reinforces the notion that her husband is the real deal when it comes to being a person with great empathy and compassion for others. When Fred asks him questions about his childhood with his father and mother, Lloyd becomes uncomfortable, defensive, and abruptly leaves.

His dysfunctional relationship with his father, who abandoned his mother when she was ill, is too great a character failing for him to overlook. Lloyd’s anger towards his father does not abate and he allows it to live rent free in his head.

When his father suddenly has a heart attack, Lloyd is compelled to revaluate his relationship with his father. Mr. Rogers’ friendship during this period of emotional turmoil becomes a force for reconciliation.

Here are two pieces of wisdom that Mr. Rogers gives to Lloyd not by giving him direct advice, but by engaging Lloyd in conversation. When he and Lloyd are speaking on the phone, Fred asks him what is the most important thing in the world that I could be doing now? Lloyd has no answer but Fred does: “The most important thing I could be doing is talking to you.” The message for Lloyd: be present in the present. Do not allow yourself to be distracted when you are engaged with another human being. From a Torah perspective, this means to recognize the image of God in every man. If every man has divinity within him, then I must pay attention to the significant other that is speaking to me.

Another instance: When Jerry is dying, Mr. Rogers makes a private request of him. Lloyd wants to know the request. Fred tells him that he asked Jerry to pray for him. Why, asks Lloyd. Fred’s answer: “when a person is close to death, he is close to God.” This is a very Jewish response. The Sages in Ethics of the Fathers encourage us to think of death each day not in a morbid way, but to stimulate us to lead more meaningful lives. Experiencing crisis is often the catalyst to more focused use of our remaining time on earth and the rabbis want us to make every day a spiritual masterpiece.

These are only a small portion of the life lessons embedded in thoughtful narrative of It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. It is a “kosher movie” to savor and worth viewing more than once.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

It is not easy to find a film that is “kosher” in the ultimate sense, but I think It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood qualifies. I define a “kosher movie” as one that has something meaningful to say about life, that can help us navigate our own lives; and this story of the friendship of celebrated children’s show host, Fred Rogers, with investigative journalist Lloyd Vogel has much Torah wisdom to offer.

The narrative begins as Mr. Rogers shows a photo of Lloyd Vogel with a bloody nose. He tells the audience that Lloyd has lots of anger and has much to learn about forgiveness. Lloyd’s backstory reveals that he and his wife Andrea have just had a baby and they plan to attend the wedding of Lloyd’s sister Lorraine.

Lloyd’s mood sours when he learns that his estranged father, Jerry, will be attending the wedding. At this special family celebration, Lloyd gets into an altercation with his father; and in the melee following the argument, someone punches Lloyd on his nose. This is the picture Mr. Rogers shows us at the beginning.

Lloyd’s editor, Ellen, asks him to write a profile of Mr. Rogers as part of a series on contemporary heroes. Lloyd regards it as a puff piece and is reluctant to do it, but he acquiesces. For the interview with Mr. Rogers, he travels to Pittsburgh to meet him on the set of his TV program.

Lloyd is taken aback by the kind demeanor of Mr. Rogers, who treats him with great respect. Inwardly, he wonders whether his kindness is just a show or is it genuine. As Lloyd interviews him, Mr. Rogers interrupts with questions of his own for Lloyd, in which he probes reasons for Lloyd’s black eye. Lloyd eventually tells him about his fight with his dad.

Soon after, Mr. Rogers invites Lloyd to spend a day with him when he will be in New York. Lloyd meets Fred’s wife, Joanne, who reinforces the notion that her husband is the real deal when it comes to being a person with great empathy and compassion for others. When Fred asks him questions about his childhood with his father and mother, Lloyd becomes uncomfortable, defensive, and abruptly leaves.

His dysfunctional relationship with his father, who abandoned his mother when she was ill, is too great a character failing for him to overlook. Lloyd’s anger towards his father does not abate and he allows it to live rent free in his head.

When his father suddenly has a heart attack, Lloyd is compelled to revaluate his relationship with his father. Mr. Rogers’ friendship during this period of emotional turmoil becomes a force for reconciliation.

Here are two pieces of wisdom that Mr. Rogers gives to Lloyd not by giving him direct advice, but by engaging Lloyd in conversation. When he and Lloyd are speaking on the phone, Fred asks him what is the most important thing in the world that I could be doing now? Lloyd has no answer but Fred does: “The most important thing I could be doing is talking to you.” The message for Lloyd: be present in the present. Do not allow yourself to be distracted when you are engaged with another human being. From a Torah perspective, this means to recognize the image of God in every man. If every man has divinity within him, then I must pay attention to the significant other that is speaking to me.

Another instance: When Jerry is dying, Mr. Rogers makes a private request of him. Lloyd wants to know the request. Fred tells him that he asked Jerry to pray for him. Why, asks Lloyd. Fred’s answer: “when a person is close to death, he is close to God.” This is a very Jewish response. The Sages in Ethics of the Fathers encourage us to think of death each day not in a morbid way, but to stimulate us to lead more meaningful lives. Experiencing crisis is often the catalyst to more focused use of our remaining time on earth and the rabbis want us to make every day a spiritual masterpiece.

These are only a small portion of the life lessons embedded in the thoughtful narrative of It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. It is a “kosher movie” to savor and worth viewing more than once.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.

In 1970, I had to make a choice. Do I want to launch my career as a rabbi on my own serving as a pulpit rabbi or do I want to be an assistant rabbi and learn from a skilled and wise mentor? I chose the latter, and, in retrospect, it was a good decision.

In making the decision, I recognized my limitations and thought I would be a better rabbi in the long run if I had someone from whom I could learn. In Akeelah and the Bee, eleven-year-old Akeelah Anderson makes a decision to acquire a mentor as she prepares for the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, and that makes all the difference in her performance on game day.

African-American Akeelah Anderson resides in South Los Angeles, a tough neighborhood with poor schools. She is bored with being in an unchallenging academic environment. However, in spite of her surroundings, she has developed a talent for spelling. Principal Welch notices this and encourages Akeelah to enter the school’s spelling bee, which is the first step towards qualifying for the National Spelling Bee competition.

Akeelah, feeling that participation in the academic competition will brand her as a nerd, is reluctant to participate. In the face of consistent encouragement by the administration of the school, however, she relents and competes in the school’s contest and easily wins. This is the first step on the road to the national competition.

Along the way, she becomes friends with Javier Mendez, a spelling bee competitor from another school district consisting mostly of white middle class and wealthy families. Unlike her preconceptions of such students from affluent homes, Javier is friendly, supportive, and always has a smile on his face. In her conversations with him, she begins to see the world differently, becomes willing to step outside of her comfort zone, and starts to enjoy the challenge of competing in the national contest.

At first, Akeelah thinks she can win purely on the strength of her ability to master rote spelling skills. But as she competes in local contests, she realizes she will need a coach who will teach her about word roots and how to figure out how to spell complex words with obscure language origins. Serendipitously, Dr. Joshua Larabee, former chair of the UCLA English Department, becomes her mentor and coach. He is a harsh taskmaster, but ultimately Akeelah recognizes the value of his advice and follows his recommendations.

What Akeelah does conceptually is follow the advice of The Ethics of the Fathers, a classic of Jewish wisdom literature, which states “make for yourself a teacher (1:6).” The Sages interpret this to mean to get yourself a mentor, someone who will give you good advice as you navigate life.

Yaakov Astor, writer and Jewish educator, explains this aphorism. To get the most benefit from a mentor, you first have to acknowledge your own limitations and lack of perspective on certain issues. Once that is done, then you can seek out someone with wisdom and life experience to assist you. The mentor does not have to know everything, but he possesses more knowledge than you and can offer you perspective on your problems. He is objective where you are subjective.

Akeelah and the Bee demonstrates the positive effect that a mentor can have on your life. First, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses. Second, you can learn much and overcome challenges in life if you open to the perspective of an older and wiser person whom you respect and trust. It is then more likely that you will achieve success in life.

Purchase this movie from Amazon.com.